At the Birth Group, two themes echo continually through our discussions about birth and early parenting: Responsibility and Relationship.
Understandably, women want to emerge from the birth of their babies intact – physically, mentally, spiritually. And because our vaginas and our pelvic muscles are not only a very important part of our physical bodies (essential to our structural integrity), but deeply entwined with our intimate and emotional lives, we want them to be safe and well, so that they remain friendly and functional for many years to come.
I originally wrote this blog in response to the question: How can I avoid an episiotomy? My original answer kept the power with the providers holding the scissors, explaining why some might feel an episiotomy is helpful, and how women might communicate their preferences in this area. After mulling it over for about a week, I decided that this fear was best confronted by shifting the power. Because really, pregnant women need to understand their own thoughts and bodies more than they need to clutter up their thoughts with someone else’s.
When you accept responsibility for your own body and birth, you can immediately let go of many fears about what might be done ‘to you’ in labour .. because no one has the right to do anything without your consent. If you want your midwife to work with your body to help you stretch rather than tear, the best way to do that is to learn how to help yourself. You take the lead. It’s your body, and your birth.
The moment you lie on your back, you hand over some of your power. In this position, you are relying on your caregiver to give you feedback about how well you are pushing, when to push harder, when to slow down. In this position, an episiotomy is quick and easy to perform. In this position, it is often difficult to move with your body in a way which is self-motivated and self-protective.
In contrast, a woman who is choosing her own position as she births, is mobile, is working with the signals her body sends to her .. this woman sends the message that she is not to be directed, she is self-directed. The woman whose own hands are at the opening to her birth canal as her baby crowns sends the message that she does not require someone else’s hands to be there. She is familiar, comfortable and (often literally) in touch with her body, and as a result more likely to work with her own tissues rather than push through them.
Our first Love Lesson, Loving your bottom: nurturing and protecting your pelvic floor in childbirth, will help you to develop a relationship with your pelvic floor and take responsibility for maintaining your own health and physical integrity. The evening will include:
* Developing tone and elasticity in your pelvic floor muscles
* Perineal massage and other techniques for gaining familiarity with the soft tissues of your pelvis
* Discussions about ‘pushing’
* Birthing positions which help you work with the stretch
* Promoting quick and efficient healing where this is needed
On Monday, 5 December 2011, we’ll explore all of the topics above, and answer any further questions you have. The group is limited to women only, so that no one need feel inhibited discussing anything important to you. The evening is facilitated by Shawn Walker RM (me), a fully qualified independent (private) midwife, and is held at The Orange Grove Clinic, Maddermarket, Norwich, from 7.30-9.30. Cost is £7/woman, £3/birth worker. You can book through The Orange Grove Clinic on 01603 631 900.
You are designed to get huge, stretch beautifully and remain healthy following childbirth. Come and join us as part of your birth journey. If you’ve missed this session or are not able to secure a place, please e-mail Shawn (shawn .. at .. norwichbirthgroup.co.uk) so that we can organise another before you have your baby!
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